- Sometimes I wake up grumpy.
But other times I let her sleep in.
- The amount of bad coronavirus jokes
is starting to reach worrying numbers.
Some scientists claim it might be a
- I ran out of toilet paper, so have
begun using old newspapers...
The Times are rough.
- Finland has just closed their
No one will be crossing the finish
- Due to the quarantine...
I’ll only be telling inside jokes.
- What do you call a Spanish man who
ran out Toilet Paper during Lockdown?
- The collective noun for kangaroos is
a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
- If I had a penny for everyone who
asked me to look after their dogs,
I’d have a pound.
- For Christmas, I
bought my wife new beads for her abacus.
little things that count.
- Boss -
Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you
enjoy your weekends but I need you here.
Me - Yeah,
no problem. I'll probably be late though as public
transport on weekends is slow.
What time will you get here?
funnier than the plague?
week? Just about anything.
language do oranges speak?
everyone started washing their hands...
peanuts in the pub have lost their flavour.
- I tried
to make a coronavirus joke a while back.
laughed at the time, but eventually everyone got it.
- My wife claims that a man in camouflage is really
just don’t see it.
- What’s a group of Chubby newborns called?
- I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to
at it now, I see why.
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and
pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes...
did the lion cross the road? To stop the zebra
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man
on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet
single women with hand sanitiser for good clean fun.
need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it.
The current version has a nasty virus.
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to
the supermarket.. They lied, everyone else had their
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we
conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No
The origin of the phrase is unclear. It might have
originated in the early 1700s in other forms, but
was not very popular. It gained popularity in the
mid 1900s, after a stage show called "Out On The
Town" was performed in 1944 and a film by the same
name came out in 1949.