CHISTES PARA MEJORAR TU INGLÉS-2

 

 
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy.

But other times I let her sleep in.

 

- The amount of bad coronavirus jokes is starting to reach worrying numbers.

Some scientists claim it might be a pundemic.

 

- I ran out of toilet paper, so have begun using old newspapers...

The Times are rough.

 

- Finland has just closed their borders.

No one will be crossing the finish line.

 

- Due to the quarantine...

I’ll only be telling inside jokes.

 

- What do you call a Spanish man who ran out Toilet Paper during Lockdown?

His panic.

 

- The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?

A lot.

 

- If I had a penny for everyone who asked me to look after their dogs,

I’d have a pound.

 

- For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus.

It’s the little things that count.

 

- Boss - Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here.

Me - Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.

Boss - What time will you get here?

Me - Monday

 

- What's funnier than the plague?

 This week? Just about anything.

 

- What language do oranges speak?

Mandarin.

 

- Since everyone started washing their hands...

The peanuts in the pub have lost their flavour.

 

- I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back.

Nobody laughed at the time, but eventually everyone got it.


- My wife claims that a man in camouflage is really sexy.

 I just don’t see it.


- What’s a group of Chubby newborns called?

Heavy infantry.


- I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell.

Looking at it now, I see why.

Más chistes:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes...

Why did the lion cross the road? To stop the zebra crossing

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet single women with hand sanitiser for good clean fun.

We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it. The current version has a nasty virus.

They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket.. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on.

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Quarantine.

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

The origin of the phrase is unclear. It might have originated in the early 1700s in other forms, but was not very popular. It gained popularity in the mid 1900s, after a stage show called "Out On The Town" was performed in 1944 and a film by the same name came out in 1949. https://www.theidioms.com/out-on-the-town/

Idioms Explicados 

 

Avisos y Carteles

 

Palabras Homógrafas

 

Ejercicios de Fluidez

 

Tests-Gratis.com

 Aprende inglés más rápido