- I got in touch with my inner self today.
That’s the last time I use cheap
- John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last
Turns out it was just Saturday Night
- If Bill Gates had a penny for every time he reboots my
Oh wait...he does.
-My ex-girlfriend just told
me she wants us to get back together again.
MAN! I sure am LUCKY! I
mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!
-My wallet is like an onion.
When I open it, it makes me cry.
- What do you call a girl who sets
fire to bank loans?
- My wife text messaged me with one
It meant the world to me.
- Today I was in the bank when two
men came in wearing masks...
Everyone felt a huge relief when they
told us it’s only a bank robbery.
- My wife always wanted a son with a
foreign sounding name, so after she gave birth she
decided on Mark but with a C.
I just went now to register his name!
I am so excited on my way home to see little baby Cark!
- Did you know you can get paid for
It’s a dream job.
- My dad was bragging about his new
hearing aid. “State of the Art,” he said, “It cost me a
I asked: “Awesome what type is it? "
He said: “‘Two thirty.”
- At a job interview I filled my
glass of water until it overflowed a little.
“Nervous?” asked the interviewer.
“No. I always give 110%”.
- According to my
therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my
Can’t say I’m surprised.
2 - 3 -
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and
pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes...
did the lion cross the road? To stop the zebra
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man
on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet
single women with hand sanitiser for good clean fun.
need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it.
The current version has a nasty virus.
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to
the supermarket.. They lied, everyone else had their
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we
conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No
The origin of the phrase is unclear. It might have
originated in the early 1700s in other forms, but
was not very popular. It gained popularity in the
mid 1900s, after a stage show called "Out On The
Town" was performed in 1944 and a film by the same
name came out in 1949.