- Yesterday I purchased a world map...gave my wife a dart and said to her "throw this and wherever it lands, I'm taking you for a holiday".

Turns out we’re spending three weeks behind the fridge.

- A guy walks into his doctors office saying, “Help me, doctor, I’m shrinking.”

“Hold on,” says the doctor, “Be a little patient.”

- I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?"

"Is this her first child?" he asked.

"No, this is her husband."



- My ex wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend.

Honestly, I should have seen the signs.


-A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.

Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.


- Dentist: “This is going to hurt a little".

Patient: “Ok”.

Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”


- Why do elephants drink?

To forget.


- How do you make the number one disappear?

You just add a G and it’s gone.


- My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy.

At least that’s what she said in her diary.


- Boss texts me: “Send me one of those funny dad jokes”

Me: “I can’t I’m busy working.”

Boss: “That’s hilarious. Do you have anymore?”


- My wife said to me: "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?"

So I took her out to dinner, to a movie, then I dropped her off at her parents’ place.


- The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.

I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."


- My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it’s all water under the fridge.


- My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.

I said, “Wait, I can change.”


- Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds.

 Anyway, today I lost my job at the aquarium.


- Job interviewer: “At the start you’ll be earning £20,000; later that will increase to £40,000.

Me: “OK, I’ll come back later.”


- What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer?

One sells watches while the other watches cells.


- An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?"

The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”


- The guy who stole my diary just died.

My thoughts are with his family.


- I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.

When I asked the keeper why, he said it was “bread in captivity.”


- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...

She gave me a hug.


- My wife tells me I have 2 major faults, I don’t listen - and something else.

Más chistes:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes...

Why did the lion cross the road? To stop the zebra crossing

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet single women with hand sanitiser for good clean fun.

We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it. The current version has a nasty virus.

They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket.. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on.

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Quarantine.

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

The origin of the phrase is unclear. It might have originated in the early 1700s in other forms, but was not very popular. It gained popularity in the mid 1900s, after a stage show called "Out On The Town" was performed in 1944 and a film by the same name came out in 1949.

Idioms Explicados 


Avisos y Carteles


Palabras Homógrafas


Ejercicios de Fluidez

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