- What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don’t know and I don’t care


- Elon Musk and Bill Gates should team up to invent a cure for erectile dysfunction.

And call it ElonGates


- 6:30 is the best time on a clock.

 Hands down


-What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?

A shoe


- Yesterday one of my good friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was a really hurtful thing to say and completely ruined our bath


- I arrived early at the restaurant last night.

“Do you mind waiting for a bit?” The manager asked.

“Not at all” I replied.

“Good, take these pizzas to table 6,” he said.


- People are usually shocked when they find out I am not a good electrician


- The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”

Now I can’t open the oven as the door faces the wall


- To ride a horse or not to ride a horse.

That is equestrian


- What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom


- Her: Why are the potatoes burnt?

Me: That’s for tomorrow.

Her: Huh?

Me: Tomorrow is Black Fry Day


- Dyslexic man walks into a bra


- Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.

Man: Wait! I can explain everything


- A farmer who owned 67 sheep asked me to round them up.

I said: “Sure. 70.”


- I visited my friend at his new house.

He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate visitors


- I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking.

Apparently, the correct terms are “cremation” and “burial”


- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.


- My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.

After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence


- If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I would be like, why am I always getting this free money?


- What do you call a pig with three eyes?



-I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

She’s watching our wedding video again


- I just found out that “Aaarghh” is not a real word.

I can’t express how angry I am


- The average person is really mean


- Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?"

 Me: "I Excel at it."

Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: “Word


- [At parole hearing]

Officer: Why should you be released early?

Man: I’m...

Officer: Go on.

Man: I think...

Officer: Yes?

Man: Can I please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied


- Her: What do you do?

Me: I race cars.

Her: Do you win many races?

Me: No, the cars are much faster


- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them


- Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands?

And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;

There are no canaries there either


- Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?

Me: That’s when I went to Yale...

Interviewer: That’s impressive.You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this yob


- Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot


- “I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank


- I used to think I was indecisive, now I’m not so sure.


- “Doc, all my 5 kids want to be valets when they grow up!”

Doctor: “Wow! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”


- My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it is flat.

In the end, he came around.


- My wife is incredibly smart. When I called her from my buddy’s phone she answered “hey love.”

She already knew it was me!


- I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office.

It improved my outlook.


- Friend: Your wife and daughter look like they could be twins!

Me: Well they were separated at birth.


- A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”

The teller says: “Don’t you mean history?”

The robber replies: “Don’t change the subject!”


- A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. 

An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.


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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes...

Why did the lion cross the road? To stop the zebra crossing

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet single women with hand sanitiser for good clean fun.

We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it. The current version has a nasty virus.

They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket.. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on.

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Quarantine.

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

The origin of the phrase is unclear. It might have originated in the early 1700s in other forms, but was not very popular. It gained popularity in the mid 1900s, after a stage show called "Out On The Town" was performed in 1944 and a film by the same name came out in 1949.

Idioms Explicados 


Avisos y Carteles


Palabras Homógrafas


Ejercicios de Fluidez

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