- I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.

The odds were against me.


- As a doctor, I never make a joke about an unvaccinated baby.

But let me give it a shot.


- The only thing I have planned for today is to get my new glasses.

Then I’ll see what happens.



- Her: At least invite me out to dinner.

Him: I don’t go out with married women.

Her: But I’m your wife.

Him: I make no exceptions


- What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.


- I've just started up a dating site for chickens.

It's not my normal day job, I'm just doing it…

To make hens meet.


- My roommate says our house is haunted.

But I’ve lived here for 300 years and not noticed anything unusual.


- I asked my wife for an audio book this Christmas, but she got me an encyclopedia instead.

That speaks volumes.


- I have this incredible ability to predict what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.


- Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhoea is inherited.

Runs in the family.


- I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don’t know y.


- All my life I've wanted to learn how to juggle.

I just never had the balls to do it.


- Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?

James Bond: No thank you. Dye another day.


- Where do lizards go to fix their fallen tails?

The retail shop.


- What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language.


- Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.


-A guy died from laughing too much.

It was manslaughter.


- Did you here about the blind circumciser?

He got the sack.


- I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to a lawyer, and asked him whether I can sue the airline.

He said you don’t have much of a case.


- Guy at a grocery store: Are those genetically modified eggplants?

Store worker: Why do you ask?

Egg plant: Yeah, why do you ask?


- How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing. It’s on the house.


- Just lost my job as a zookeeper.

In my defence there were signs everywhere saying “please don’t feed the animals.”


- I am giving up drinking for a month.

Sorry that came out wrong.

I am giving up. Drinking for a month


- I think my calendar is trying to kill me.

My days are numbered


- Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.


- My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body.

He’ll be born in February.


- I was trying to figure out why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.


- In an effort to bridge the cultural gap with my Hispanic friends, I’ve been saying “muchos” a lot more recently.

It means a lot to them.


- To the guy who stole my antidepressants...

I hope you’re happy now.


- Why did the man fall into a well?

He couldn’t see that well.


- How much does it cost to buy a large singing group?

“A choir?”

Ok, fine. How much does it cost to “acquire” a large singing group.


- This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.


- Working at an unemployment office must be so tense.

Even if you get fired you still have to come in the next day.

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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? Anyone can mash potatoes...

Why did the lion cross the road? To stop the zebra crossing

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet single women with hand sanitiser for good clean fun.

We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it. The current version has a nasty virus.

They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket.. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on.

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris? Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: No problem Quarantine.

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

The origin of the phrase is unclear. It might have originated in the early 1700s in other forms, but was not very popular. It gained popularity in the mid 1900s, after a stage show called "Out On The Town" was performed in 1944 and a film by the same name came out in 1949.

Idioms Explicados 


Avisos y Carteles


Palabras Homógrafas


Ejercicios de Fluidez

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